How To Be A Con Artist Part VII

Continuing my How To Be A Con Artist series...  You can read the previous installments here:

How To Be A Con Artist Part I
How To Be A Con Artist Part II
How To Be A Con Artist Part III
How To Be A Con Artist Part IV
How To Be A Con Artist Part V
How To Be A Con Artist Part VI

This time I'll be addressing something you probably hear a lot about but don't necessarily think about - Convention Safety.

There are often panels discussing this issue and hints and tips in con books, but I doubt people really pay attention like they should.  We live in a world where we think things happen to other people... till it happens to us.  Most of this is common sense, but we forget in the excitement of attending a convention, or thinking about our table, or paperwork, getting our stuff unloaded and the general buzz of the whole event.  It doesn't mean you shouldn't have fun and be excited, but you should always be aware of things.  A lot of this is going to sound like basic safety issues, but its important!

Have a cell phone fully charged and at hand always.  This might seem obvious, but how many times have you picked up your phone and found it near the end of its battery?  Or have to dig it out of the bottom of a bag?  Always have it nearby and fully charged, ready to use quickly.  It should be near at hand in the car, while walking to and from the convention and while at your table.  When you go out, have it in a place you can grab it fast - not just for yourself but should you witness something or see someone needs help.  Have the phone number of the hotel you are staying at in your phone so that if you get lost, you can call them and have them help direct you back.  Also, have the first listing in your phone be an emergency contact so if something happens to you the first responders can contact that person without scrolling for a number in your phone.

BE AWARE.  Always be aware of your environment - where you are and what you are doing and who is there.

Don't go to a convention alone (if you can do that).  There are a lot of reasons for this.  Having a table buddy isn't just to keep you from being bored.  They can offer a sense of safety and security during your weekend.  A table buddy will share the room with you, the car ride with you and will go out with you in the evening.  All good things!  They will also deter anyone who is looking to make a victim of you.  Sadly, there are those who attend conventions looking for victims - the same as any other venue or gathering.  They look for someone on their own who they can isolate.  Having someone with you makes you less of a target.  So, if you can, travel with someone, or a group to the convention.  Safety in numbers is a real thing.

Don't be distracted by your stuff.  Don't be bogged down with bags.  If you are on your own and have to handle your many table items AND your luggage, it's easy to be overwhelmed or distracted with all your belongings.  Getting your things into the convention or hotel from car and back again can be difficult.  If you can't get it right into the lobby, then you may be forced to walk across a parking lot or through an underground parking facility or even down the street.  My first recommendation would go back to the last post I made and get a large rolling chest to lessen the amount of things you are carrying.  The less items you are juggling, the better.  The second recommendation is to not be so focused on your belongings, that you aren't paying attention to what's happening around you.  If you can, have your cell phone out and to your ear - either pretend to or actually be talking to someone on a handsfree unit.  This will make you undesirable as a target.

Be safe in your car.  Look into your car before getting in - at the passenger side floor and in the back seat.  If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.  Or better, don't park near big vans.  Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle and the passenger side.  If someone is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to go back to the convention center or hotel and ask someone to walk you back out or wait a bit till they leave.  Don't just sit in your car after getting in.  Predators can be watching and will see this as an opportunity to get into your car.  As soon as you get into your car, lock the doors and leave.  - I apologize if this sounds dark and scary and a little paranoid, but its better to be a little paranoid and safe.

Walk with confidence.  Keep your head up, swing your arms and stand straight up.  Confidence and purpose!

Don't give money or keys to anyone walking up to your car when you pull in to the facility, saying they are an attendant or its for a meter.  Parking attendants are either in a booth or small building.  There will be signs posted on what you have to do if you need to pay for parking and how much it is and there will be meters to pay, not people wandering about the lot collecting keys and/or money.

Don't be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Don't walk alone in an alley or bad neighborhood during the day or at night.  Don't assume because the sun is out, that you are safe going anywhere you want.  Don't rely on a busy area to be safe either.  Don't be in isolated areas of town.  If you get lost, this is when your having the hotel's phone number in your cell will be helpful.  Call the hotel, explain you are lost, give them the nearest street name and have them direct you back to them.  Or, use your gps to get back to the hotel.

Carry mace, or a pocket knife, or scissors.  Scissors or a cutting knife for an artist in the artist alley are just supplies, so you shouldn't have trouble having them - just don't have them out so you don't get in trouble.  Mace in your pocket is valuable and if you need it, its better to deal with explaining why you have it to a police officer or security guard after you use it on someone attacking you than the alternative.

Stick with people you know.  One of the fun aspects of attending a convention is meeting new people and making new friends.  I have a whole bunch of friends I've made over the years who have become really good friends to me and I love dearly.  But when going out, have people you know with you - even one - if you are going out with a bunch of new people in the group.  If the new people suggest you going off with them alone, don't.  Just because they know someone you know, doesn't mean you are safe from harm.

Stay safe at parties.  Room parties are common at conventions and you'll probably get invited.  Its best to make sure people you know will be there before attending, but if you are on your own, you need to be very careful and safe.  When you walk in, be aware of the vibe, don't let the door close behind you till you get a sense of the party.  Listen to your gut.  If you feel uncomfortable, leave.  You don't owe anybody anything.  Don't worry about being polite.  If you are at a party, alone or with friends, be aware of what you are drinking.  Don't let your drink out of your hands.  Make sure YOU are getting your drink from the bottle directly so no one has a chance to put something in it.  Be aware of alcohol being put in it.  I'm not going to be foolish and assume that everyone is on the up and up and not drinking when not being of legal age, but don't be stupid.  If you don't want to drink, then DON'T DRINK.  Don't let anyone force you to or make you feel bad for not having a drink.  Don't drink to excess, even while with your friends.  It makes it too easy for someone to lead you away or remove you from your friends.  And its too easy for you to make poor choices.

Stay safe when out at night.  Going out at night in new cities is always exciting and fun, but don't get caught up in it all and forget to be aware of where you are and where you are going and who you are with.  If you are out, again, be careful of your drinking.  Be watchful of your drink when you're out to make sure no one puts anything in it.  Stay with your friends!  Don't let new people pull you away or try to take you somewhere else.  Don't worry about insulting people or hurting feelings.  Your safety is more important that hurt feelings.  If someone is giving you a hard time, find an employee of the place where you are at and tell them.  Also, don't assume that just because you aren't alone you are not in danger.  A group is less likely to have a problem, but that doesn't mean you can walk anywhere you want.  Stick to lighted busy areas - remember the wrong place, wrong time above...

If you are walking alone in the dark (which you shouldn't be doing anyway) and you find yourself being followed or chased, scream "FIRE!" and not help.  People don't want to get involved when people yell "Help", but "Fire" draws their attention.  And RUN!  Run yelling fire to draw people's attention to you.

And be aware that it is dark!  Cross streets carefully and look both ways.  Drivers may not see you in badly lit areas.

Always take the elevator instead of the stairs.  Stairwells are terrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot.  Do not get on an elevator if there is someone who gives you a bad vibe.  Better to wait for the next one.  Do not stand in the back corners of the elevator if you can help it.  Be near the front, by the doors, ready to get off.  If you are riding up to a higher level floor and on the trip up someone who makes you uncomfortable or gives you a bad vibe gets on, get off.

Have a box that locks your money up/keep valuables locked up.  I know many people use a bag, or even their pocket for money from the table, but its better to have a box that locks instead.  Don't take it out with you when you go out for dinner - its too easy to lose and makes you a target.

If you're alone, make friends with your neighbors in the Artist Alley.  If you don't have a table buddy, make friends with those around you.  This will help out when there is a need to go to the bathroom - they can watch your table for you.  They might be able to get food for you on a food run.  Better, if someone gives you a hard time, you aren't alone there as your new friends will step in to have your back.

Do not assumer someone is safe alone because of their gender or build or their age... Crazy comes in small, cute packages just as easily as big, hulking ones - Sarah Martinez

Don't think that a woman is any less likely to cause harm than a man.  There are plenty of stories of a woman who is accused of many cases of abuse and molestation.  She insinuates herself with boys and girls, pretending to be a friend, gains personal information, then uses it against her victim.  When accused, she claims she isn't doing anything wrong and they are over reacting.  Females can be dangerous to others and can cause harm.

Don't think that a man is any less likely to be harmed than a woman.  Young men can be victims, so its not safe to assume that you, as a male or one who identifies as male, is safer than those that identify as female.  Any gender is in danger from any other gender.

If you dress up and cosplay, be aware, there are repercussions - Know how to handle situations.  THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT YOU SHOULDN'T COSPLAY OR CAN'T WEAR WHAT YOU WANT.  Cosplay is NOT consent.  That doesn't mean people won't be creepers, won't harass you, won't disrespect you, won't touch you inappropriately or without consent, won't take rude pictures and won't post those pictures on the net.  Unfortunately, that is the reality of the situation we are in.  I love cosplay and I'm amazed at every convention at the array of costumes, the display of skills and effort that is shown...  So if you decide to wear a costume, be aware that there are people who will want to belittle you, make fun of you and creep on you.  Don't let them.  Be confident and strong!  If you are being harassed, remove yourself from the situation immediately and find con staff or security.  Be loud about it so others know what's happening and hear what is going on.  Many cosplayers get lured by interviewers who are only using the opportunity to harass or embarrass a person.  Have answers ready to shut them down if necessary and be prepared to walk away.  Don't allow the "I'm only joking" or "You're over reacting" comments to keep you there. And don't do anything you are uncomfortable doing. You don't owe them anything.  Don't let them make you feel guilty.  If someone touches you, you are allowed to yell at them and say, "NO!"  Again, find con staff or security.  If they are touching you without permission or inappropriately, chances are, they are doing it to others.

At your table in costume, be mindful that you will be asked to have pictures taken.  This will draw your attention away from your table and your items.  Remember what you are there for and that you have to always keep an eye on your Artist Alley table.

Do not go up to anyone's room that you don't know.  "Hey, I have to grab something from my room real quick, wanna come with me?"  If you don't know that person, the answer is or should be, "No."  You can wait for them in the lobby or some other public area for them to grab whatever they need and meet you back there.  There is never a good reason to go to the room of someone you don't know, alone.  Even if they need help getting stuff, it doesn't have to be you.  We are more afraid of being considered impolite than listening to our own gut telling us to be safe.

Don't go to isolated areas with people.  The truth is, there really isn't any good reason to go down a dark alley, an isolated corner or some place alone with people.  Even if you need time to be somewhere quiet you can probably just go to a bathroom stall for some alone time - most of the time.  There are quiet areas that don't have to be so out of the way, that you put yourself in danger.  Don't allow others to draw you to these places if you don't know and trust them.

Meet Art Directors or professionals in public places, like a coffee bar or restaurant if they want to discuss your portfolio further.  As a young artist, or someone starting out, you want to make an impression on Art Directors or professionals you meet at conventions.  There are usually a few opportunities to show your portfolio to them and have it reviewed.  Some will want to talk further with you about your work in a less, loud/busy area than a convention center floor or artist alley and that's fine.  DO NOT MEET THEM IN THEIR ROOM.  I won't go into horror stories or tales - you've heard them before.  Its the casting couch situation and while that may not be the case when its suggested to you - they might be legitimately interested in your portfolio - why put yourself in a vulnerable position?  You can suggest meeting at a restaurant, the hotel lobby, a coffee shop or some other place where it will be quieter.  There is no reason to go to their room.

Take your meds at the time you are supposed to and have any allergy or special medications on hand if necessary.  Don't allow the attention of the convention and customers to distract you from taking care of yourself and taking the medication you need.  If you have allergies, have your medications or epi-pen handy just in case.  If you have a medical bracelet, be wearing it!  You have to be responsible for taking care of yourself - meaning have your medications and take them.  Have water and drink it.  Eat, shower and sleep!  Being sickly or sleepy is unsafe!

If you are being harassed or followed through a con, find con staff or security.  If you either feel like someone is following you, or you are having a creeper harassing you, find someone who works for the convention or the hotel.  Inform them of your situation.  Chances are, before you even start speaking the person will dart off, afraid of getting in trouble, but make the staff aware of the person.  At the very least, you may help yourself get the target off your back.  If you are outside of the convention and think you are being followed do any of the following: Call someone and speak loudly to them.  Tell them you think you are being followed by someone.  Get somewhere where there are people, like a store, restaurant or shop and go inside.  Tell them you think you are being followed and ask for help (if you don't have a phone).  Or find a friendly stranger or group of people and tell them (granted I know this is iffy too, but this is assuming you don't have a phone with you - its about finding someone who can help and doing the best you can).  Ask them for help.  Try to get a good look at who you think is following you so you can give a description.  Call the police and inform them of your situation, where you are and be ready to tell them the description of the person.

Even if you are sharing a room with someone/others, have money for a room with you.  Yes, you share a room to cut the cost, but things happen.  Sometimes you think you are friends with someone, but then find out you aren't, or they were expecting things you weren't.  Stuff happens.  If you are sharing a room with someone or others and find things have changed, you don't want to be stuck with no place to sleep.  Its a terrible trap to be stuck with no where to go - or being forced to remain in an unsafe situation in your room.  Don't allow yourself to be stuck.  Have money for a room if necessary so you are never caught or trapped where you don't want to be.  I'd recommend not rooming with someone you don't know - again, you might be looking to save money, but make sure you know whose sharing your personal space with you.

Don't assume the area around a convention is safe.  I could share a few stories about kids running around the Baltimore Convention Center thinking they would be safe from any danger.  Unfortunately, they weren't.  As busy as it was with people, it was still dangerous.  Just because there is a convention in a convention center or a hotel, that doesn't give the building or area a safety bubble.  You are still in public and there is still a level of danger there.  This goes back to being aware!

If something happens, report it!  Sadly, even with all the precautions in the world, something may happen.  Unfortunately, many don't report it.  This is the hard part.  TELL SOMEONE.  Tell the con staff, tell security, tell the police, tell convention/hotel staff.  Tell someone.  I know there are stories of people who were brushed off or hushed up - don't let that stop you.  Don't let it get brushed under the rug as just another story.  Whether you are mugged, molested, raped, hit...  anything... Tell someone and report it.

If you see something, say something.  I've had some discussions about safety with others and I often find it all falls onto the potential victim to be safe and take control of their safety.  Yes, we can tell people not to steal, hurt, rape or harm others, but that still seems to happen... so what can be done?  I've come to the conclusion that one thing missing from these discussions is the responsibility of everyone else.  There are too many times we turn a blind eye to things happening around us - whether out of fear, discomfort or the "I don't want to get involved" feeling.

I was in a situation where a man was being aggressive with me.  He had his arms around me and my arms were pinned as he was trying to kiss me.  I was leaning back as far as I could saying "NO!" loudly.  This was in broad daylight on a campus like area with people around us.  There were plenty of people around who saw this happening.  Finally I threatened to knee him in the groin (I wasn't feeling confident enough to actually do it, because I felt like I had lead him on or something, but that's a whole other discussion) and he let me go, laughing it off.

Any one of the people walking by could have said something, even a "hey, leave her alone." and stopped what was happening.  It doesn't always take much.  Just having a witness intervene can stop an attacker or aggressor.  If you see someone creeping on another, tell them to back off or ask the person you think is the victim, "Is this person bothering you?"  On the street, if you see someone in trouble, pull out your cell phone and yell out, "I've called the police!" You don't have to be close if you are worried about getting hurt.  Call attention to what you are seeing and it will help.  Attackers don't want witnesses and will more likely run than confront you.  Use your phone's video camera to record for proof...  If you see a cosplayer being harassed, step in and say something.  Turn the attention on the harasser so the victim can feel empowered!  Isolation is the largest issue in these situations.  Victims usually feel alone and helpless.  Don't let others feel that way if you see something happening.  Help them gain control of the situation and get them to con staff or security if necessary.

If you are at a party or bar and you see someone who is clearly drunk and not in control of the situation, watch out for them.  Don't allow them to be lead away or lured away by others who are taking advantage.  Even if they claim to be a friend, try to make sure that person is really a friend and not a person the disadvantaged victim just met. You'd be surprised by how many victims are left by their 'friends' at bars when they are in no condition to take care of themselves.  Step in and tell the other person to leave the drunk person alone - The person may have been drugged.  You don't know.  Don't let them be taken away.  If you see a person having an anxiety attack and someone comes in to 'help', make sure they know the person and keep an eye on the 'helper'.  Always be aware of what's happening to these people who are in a vulnerable position.

If something happens and someone is hurt, point to someone specifically and tell them to call 911.  And then you do it as well.  In most situations like that, everyone assumes someone has called 911, but no one has.  Time is of the essence when there is an injury and the longer the delay in getting medical help, the worse it is for the injured.

I think this all covers not only con safety, but safety in general.  Trust your gut and instincts.  If you are getting a bad feeling, its for a reason and you have to listen to yourself.  Have your fully charged cell phone and make smart decisions about what you are doing, who you are with and where you are going!

While all of the above sort of sucks the fun out of the convention, don't let it.  It all falls down into this: Be aware!

So having said all that... have a safe and happy convention season!

My next blog can be found here: How To Be A Con Artist Part VIII