March Thoughts

I know I haven't been posting as much as I was, but it isn't from lack of wanting to, more from lack of feeling like I have something important to say that's worth sharing with anyone.  I used to do a livejournal years ago where I posted about all the things that irritated me, or the drama and hopes and dreams and all the minutia of my life, but found that I didn't necessarily want to share all of that with the world.  It was the realization that everything we put out on the net is there forever and is that really what I want out there?

Today, with the internet, everyone can see things NOW.  And they can respond to those things NOW.  There is little to no time from the moment you read or see something to the moment you write something in response to it and hit 'return' on your keyboard.  And there is almost little to no time afterward that someone responds to you.  As wonderful as that is, there is also a lack of editing that goes on.  When you have nothing but a split-second from a thought to your keyboard, there is nothing between you and saying something clever, witty or insightful - of course there is also nothing between you and saying something hurtful, stupid, or insipid.

This is parody!

And those comments are now out there.  Forever.

While out with Mom, I brought up a theory on the simmering anger that seems to be prevalent in Americans or maybe just people in general.  I wonder if perhaps is due to this instant response (usually negative) thing on the internet.  No matter what your thoughts or opinions are, as soon as you put them out there, people are jumping at the chance to not just disagree with you, but insult you - and not just insult you, but call you names in the most vitriolic manner that you think you clearly must have shot their puppy when they were children.

It certainly isn't a conducive environment to a constructive conversation.

I can give you an example and this has nothing to do with any personal opinions of mine or having my trying to be political or anything, this is stated as an example:

This cartoon was posted somewhere as a political cartoon about the difficulty of a same-sex couple adopting a child when they have a loving healthy environment in comparison to a heterosexual couple who might not have a loving healthy environment.  I looked at it, took it in, noted it and moved on from it.  Then I read the comments under it.  It was nothing but anger and snark.  People were talking about the 'gay agenda' and liberals and how tired they were of hearing about homosexuals etc... It got pretty heated with not one person actually having a real intelligent thing to say about it.  Then, someone posted a link to an article in there about a study some group did which proved that children raised in gay households didn't score high on some social test that they do on adopted children to see how well adjusted they are.  Researching more, I learned that many gay couples don't adopt babies, but rather children so they aren't really starting from scratch so to speak, rather they are dealing with children who are already going to have some social issues to adjust to... proving that the study which was saying that gay parents weren't providing good homes, was really very skewed.

Now, I had to tease the information out and go through a lot to try and get a decent 'conversation' and some information about the subject for myself.  Obviously you always want to try and get the facts, but I tried to imagine this situation in a real face to face environment.  Granted, I have no way to prove this would happen, but if that same group that posted to the picture were standing in a room, I can't imagine they'd be as vocally violent as they were online.  Sure, there might be some rude comments, but there would be fear of confrontation face to face.  On top of that, there would probably be more of a conversation where information would be shared.  For example, if a person said, "Well, I saw a study that said same-sex couples don't provide a good home for adopted children.  According to the report, the adopted children scored lower on a socialization test."  Some people might nod their head in agreement or in gaining that information.  But then, another person would say, "Yes, but did that study take into account that many same-sex couples adopt children rather than babies which most heterosexual couples do...  What is the age range in that study...?" etc...  You would get to the meat of a conversation about a subject matter much quicker than online where it is drowned in insults.

I'm not saying there wouldn't be stupid comments or stupidity.  That happens all over and in all circumstances no matter race, religion or creed... There is always a rainbow of stupid.  But when we are face to face, we communicate differently.

To some, I'm not saying anything new.  I'm not intending to.  Like I said, this is a theory on anger.  And I think the internet and this jump to say something has injured our ability to think things through and find truth in what is being said.  We are self-defensive, overly defensive, waiting for the snark, or the rudeness or the hate and we are quick to jump on the other guy who doesn't agree with us.  Its never "Well, I disagree with you." its, "You're an idiot!"

Obviously we all have freedom of speech and no one wants to curb that, but can we not have decent discourse?  Can we not treat each other with respect and thoughtfulness?  Do we all have to agree with each other?  Apparently from what I see on the internet the answers are No, No and Yes.

The other question is: Do we all have to comment every time there is an opportunity to do so?

There are many times I find myself about to comment on something but then stop myself, delete what I am typing and think very specifically, "Do I have to comment on this?" 9 times out of 10, the answer is no (honestly it could be 10 out of 10).  As a whole, we seem to have a need to jump in and start typing something when we see a post or blog, like its our civic duty or something.

I've cut back to just trying to be witty or really having an interesting fact to add.  As far as the rest, I hold back - Not because I don't have opinions - because clearly, I do - but because I don't want to get into an argument or really hear someone disagree with me.  If you post something that states a political party is made up of a bunch of idiots and I disagree with you, I don't know that my saying anything is going to change your thoughts on the matter, so why get into it with you?  It seems a waste of time, isn't constructive, and certainly won't enrich my life or yours.

I also avoid reading comments on articles and other blogs or even videos because usually there is nothing really worthwhile to find there.  Mom mentioned she stopped doing that after looking a site for recipes and seeing the angry commentaries below recipes...  People nastily telling others to keep their recipes for meat to themselves and how it was wrong of people to post things that weren't gluten-free...  No one told you to read these recipes!  Why are you so angry?  Why did you need to post ANYTHING about it?

So again, I wonder if this all has lead to more angry people.  I certainly believe it has lead to the severe party lines in our politics.  Things can only be black and white if the people who don't agree with you are idiots.

But back to my start regarding my blog...  I want to make sure that its interesting, informative or just maybe funny.  Not easy to do all the time or when you find yourself in a stretch of simple day to day activity.  And also because I want to keep readers interested in it.  I don't get much in the way of comments regarding my blog, so I have no idea who, if any, are actually reading it.  I can only hope that as time goes, the number of people will grow and I'll get a following - of course the pressure to be interesting will increase, as will the readers who find the need to say something about what I wrote. 

Anyone out there have opinions on that?  :D

Fan art to Fairies

When I was doing conventions oh so long ago, I would do original work that could be sold as prints at my table at the shows.  While most of the conventions I attended were anime themed shows, I didn't sell prints of fan art.

Original fan art of Misa from Deathnote

Fan art was the big thing at anime cons like Otakon or Katsucon, but after talking to other artists and hearing from creators from all areas of art and fandom, I was uncomfortable making prints or multiple copies to sell of characters that I had not created and did not belong to me.  Any fan art I did, the original was sold in the art shows and no copies to be made or prints of it to be sold again.  While I was using my art skill to create the piece, the rights of the character were not mine and as such, I felt I had no right to make reproductions to sell.  I was often asked why I did this and explained to whoever brought it up that the creators of the characters and anime stories or manga stories that we loved, worked very hard.  Those creators then became lucky enough to be at a popularity level that allowed them to be approached by vendors and such to use those characters on posters, cups, pens, charms... whatever.  The creator sold rights to those manufacturers and the money they got was part of their income.  When this didn't work in explaining it, I would then say, "Imagine you created a manga series and got sort of popular...  You worked hard at it and finally you made it.  You made it enough that a company comes up to you and asks for the right to put your characters on a poster.  They pay you good money for it.  This is your living, this is how you pay your rent... right?  Now imagine you go to some convention and see someone sitting at a table selling prints for less than your poster costs, of your characters.  You won't see any of that money.  They are making money off of your hard work."  That seemed to get the feeling I felt, across to them.

Original fan art of Ein from Cowboy Bebop

Now, I'm NOT knocking artists that do that.  The above is explaining MY reason for not doing fan art prints...  Nothing more.

So, having said that, instead of selling fan art at my table, I did original works of characters I came up with.  I had a few popular ones and some that barely made an impact.  Some of the ones that did seem to be eye catching, were my fairies.  I hadn't intended to do a lot of fairies when it all started out, because I wasn't into twinkly little fluffy fairies.  I was more into the Brian Froud fairies, the Celtic lore kind where they weren't always kind and sweet.  The fairies of my mind weren't simply a human with butterfly wings.

The first one I did was Valna.  She was done in watercolor with little or no real intention in any direction.  The style of her and her wings came about without a real thought process or specific desire.  In fact, she had no name till she was just about done. 

Valna (Please do not copy or distribute)

Valna (which can be purchased here) was so popular that I decided to do more art of fairies.... keeping the idea of a strange being in mind.  The others came along in a similar way... sort of popping in and not revealing any names till near the end of the the completed piece.

Cymboleena (please do not copy or redistribute)

 Cymboleena's name came to me after staring at her for a while (she can be purchased here).  Most likely it was because of the Lord of the Rings movies where there was a flower of a similar name that graced the graves of the dead.  I don't know if she has anything to with death, but the name was ringing in my mind. 

Thornburrie (please do not copy or redistribute)

Thornburrie was one that sort of... forced her way onto the paper (she can be purchased here).  She clearly wanted to be there and was not going to let me be until she was.  Of all the fairies I've done, she is the one with the least amount of good intentions.  Her name definitely clawed its way out like a cough.  I'd be very careful bargaining with her. 

Aliuna (please do not copy or redistrbute)

One of the last intended fairies I did was Aliuna (she can be purchased here).  The previous fairies, as I mentioned regarding Valna, (those above and those not shown here, but all available in my Etsy shop 'print' section) were all done in watercolor, a medium I had felt very comfortable with.  Aliuna was different in that she was done in Copic markers with a watercolor background.  I had, near the end of my convention touring, discovered Copics and began using them instead of Prismacolor markers.  Usually when I did fan art or color commissions I used markers to get a sort of 'animation cell' feel to the art, but seeing others pick up the Copics, I chose to give them a try.  After some trial and error and after stumbling across a great little tutorial, I found I really liked them.  So Aliuna was the first fairy to be done in that medium.  She was also the last 'official' fairy in my series of fairies.

The fairies over all, were popular at anime cons, fantasy cons and literary cons.  The truth is, I was always glad people liked them.  If they made people happy, then I was happy!  There might be more fairies waiting to come out and be found on paper, with interesting names waiting to shout in my ear.  We'll see.